Answer the following questions to think about how you are being treated and how you treat your partner.

      Does your partner:

• Embarrass or make fun of you in front of your friends or family?
• Put down your accomplishments?
• Make you feel like you are unable to make decisions?
• Use intimidation or threats to gain compliance?
• Tell you that you are nothing without them?
• Treat you roughly—grab, push, pinch, shove or hit you?
• Call you several times a night or show up to make sure you are where you said you would be?
• Use drugs or alcohol as an excuse for saying hurtful things or abusing you?
• Blame you for how they feel or act?
• Pressure you sexually for things you aren’t ready for?
• Make you feel like there is “no way out” of the relationship?
• Prevent you from doing things you want—like spending time with friends or family?
• Try to keep you from leaving after a fight or leave you somewhere after a fight to “teach you a lesson”?

Do you:

• Sometimes feel scared of how your partner may behave?
• Constantly make excuses to other people for your partner’s behavior?
• Believe that you can help your partner change if only you changed something about yourself?
• Try not to do anything that would cause conflict or make your partner angry?
• Always do what your partner wants you to do instead of what you want?
• Stay with your partner because you are afraid of what your partner would do if you broke up?

Always remember that NO ONE deserves to be abused. The abuse is not your fault. You are not alone. Here is a toolkit to understand if you are experiencing abuse:  

https://www.domesticshelters.org/common-questions/am-i-experiencing-abuse

Sources: The United Nations, National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, National Violence Domestic Hotline and Office on Women’s Health, U.S. Department of Health & Human Services, U.S. Citizenship & Immigration Services.